You made it to the end of The Occasional.
We hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.
Congrats again on making it this far.

To receive your prize, please email If you do not receive a prompt reply, continue to wait. You may also take solace in the fact that you read every article The Occasional ever published. That’s quite an accomplishment, though not exactly shocking, as we really phoned it toward the end, going out with what can only be deemed “a triumphant whimper.” 

Whatever. You think you could sustain a website or mildly popular digital magazine? It’s hard. Real hard. I’ve lost three wives and one husband this year. All of them to emphysema for some reason. Not sure if they were connected to the hard work we’ve all put in, but I’m not gonna cast that doubt in the minds of to their respective parents who are comforted by blaming The Occasional. Point is, we all need to move on and spend time with our new, more attractive, younger families. We suggest you do the same. 

Thank you for the 35+ years of loyal readership.


Here's A Bunch of Shit We Did Over The Years


"Where's Waldo Today" With Tony Hale

In the years since his last book, Waldo has hit hard times. Find him - as he finds himself - with his latest pictorial.

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The One Man Affected By Y2K

In 1999, Alan White had everything: a house, a wife, a life full of promise. But when the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2000, that all changed.

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Sex Advice
From An Uncomfortable Guy Who's Afraid Of Sex And Blows It Every Time

Night Night With Ron Funches Episodes 1 & 2

Who says a talk show needs to be an hour? That’s way too long. We’ve got everything you need, in less than five minutes.

Watch →

The Adventures Of A Female Super Hero

When the fighting finally finished half the town lay in ruins, but she had won. Galaxis, Earthʼs greatest hero and guardian of humanity, staggered to her feet. Her blue cape was tattered, her silver polymer jumpsuit scorched with countless laser burns.

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The Anatomy of the Human Body

An In-depth look at Mother Nature's greatest work

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Explore The Depths Of The Ocean

From playful dolphins to the monstrous, glowing angler fish of the deep, the ocean is a place full of miraculous life and wonder.

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Written By: Simon Rich

Comedian Interviews

The Occasional's Audiobook Series

Reviews: By Artie Johann

'Four Seasons' With Jon Glaser

I absolutely love those photo series of one location, photographed from the same spot, taken in each of the four seasons. Whether it's the rolling hillside of a British farm, or a sleepy New England country road, it's always stunning and humbling to see the exact same locale transformed by nature.

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On The 7th Day, God Accidentally Slept Through His Alarm And Totally Freaked Out

On the 7th Day, God woke up to the afternoon sun on his face. There’s no way. He couldn’t have. Sure enough, he indeed had. For on the 6th Day, God went hard at the bar to blow off some steam after creating the entire universe. And on the 7th Day, God overslept and freaked out. 

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