The Horndogs of Art History: PAUL GAUGUIN

The Gauguin estate recently released several never-before-seen, original titles of Gauguin’s paintings, which suggest that the artist was actually just a dirty horndog, hell-bent on ogling Tahitian babes all day. [READ MORE]


 

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Conversations Throughout History


 

 

Best App of the Month: Uber For Dogs

Every month, The Occasional saves you the trouble of sifting through the app store and recommends the one you must download. [READ MORE]

 

 
 

 
 
 

I LIKE THEIR OLD STUFF BETTER

From The Archives Of The Occasional


 
 
 

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bestieXBestie


 

Featuring Jenny Slate & Gabe Liedman

 
 

Here's Some Shit We Didn't Know What To Do With


 

Life Tips!

QUESTION:

Internet is out. How do I keep myself from going nuts?


ANSWER:

Have you tried using your iPhone, you big fat idiot?

Fun Things To Tell a Widow at a Funeral

  • Well if I knew you were going to get in a tizzy about it, I wouldn't have eaten that Bomb Pop during the eulogy.
  • I think you're wrong. He would have wanted me to wear shorts.
  • I forgot my wallet, can you spot me a buck to put in the casket/jukebox?
  • I've never felt so alive.
  • Have a great summer.

Really Surprise Her Tonight

When you reach for a condom, tell her about how you cry when she goes to sleep because "this isn't how you planned it and the worst part is that it's nobody's fault." Bitches love that shit. 

 

 
 

Fuck, Marry, Kill


 

An interactive game. We won't judge.