You made it to the end of The Occasional.
We hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.
Congrats again on making it this far.
To receive your prize, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. If you do not receive a prompt reply, continue to wait. You may also take solace in the fact that you read every article The Occasional ever published. That’s quite an accomplishment, though not exactly shocking, as we really phoned it toward the end, going out with what can only be deemed “a triumphant whimper.”
Whatever. You think you could sustain a website or mildly popular digital magazine? It’s hard. Real hard. I’ve lost three wives and one husband this year. All of them to emphysema for some reason. Not sure if they were connected to the hard work we’ve all put in, but I’m not gonna cast that doubt in the minds of to their respective parents who are comforted by blaming The Occasional. Point is, we all need to move on and spend time with our new, more attractive, younger families. We suggest you do the same.
Thank you for the 35+ years of loyal readership.
Here's A Bunch of Shit We Did Over The Years
When the fighting finally finished half the town lay in ruins, but she had won. Galaxis, Earthʼs greatest hero and guardian of humanity, staggered to her feet. Her blue cape was tattered, her silver polymer jumpsuit scorched with countless laser burns.
I absolutely love those photo series of one location, photographed from the same spot, taken in each of the four seasons. Whether it's the rolling hillside of a British farm, or a sleepy New England country road, it's always stunning and humbling to see the exact same locale transformed by nature.
On the 7th Day, God woke up to the afternoon sun on his face. There’s no way. He couldn’t have. Sure enough, he indeed had. For on the 6th Day, God went hard at the bar to blow off some steam after creating the entire universe. And on the 7th Day, God overslept and freaked out.