Around Town: Ke$ha in Cri$i$!


What is wrong with Ke$ha? Friends and family members of the “Tik Tok” singer are reportedly “very concerned” over the pop star’s bizarre recent behavior, which has included several nights of sobriety and regular bathing!

The party girl’s public meltdown began last Thursday when Ke$ha was caught on camera wearing pants and reading a book at a Beverly Hills coffee shop. “She wasn’t wearing a Native American headdress or screaming that everyone should suck her dick,” said one shaken witness. “She was just totally engrossed in a Johnathan Franzen novel. It was disturbing.”

Sadly, Ke$ha appeared to worsen over the next several days, being spotted around Los Angeles sitting in a chair with both of her feet on the ground, and eating with a fork and knife.


Ke$ha’s personal manager, Janelle Mackie, claims nothing is wrong with the singer, telling reporters, “Ke$ha has been drinking handles of vodka, peeing on the floors of dance clubs, and passing out in hot tubs with tattooed heroin addicts nightly.”

But those close to the singer tell a much different story. “I wanted to do a bunch of coke and ride a mechanical bull the other night, but [Ke$ha] said she just wanted to watch the movie Amour and go to bed early,” a concerned insider said, on condition of anonymity. “If she keeps this up, I’m really worried she might live to 30.”

cWe certainly hope not! Get help, Ke$ha!