Ever wonder how celebs keep their bods toned and taught for their movie star closeups?
Swims 30 laps per day in a thimble!
lifts the crushing weight of depression!
chases down and sucks the blood from goats!
runs through five personalities per day!
does weight training under 48 pounds of scarves!
runs from Scientologists!
does nothing because she is perfect!
fights a komodo dragon!
does something entirely bland and unmemorable!
eats a salad bowl filled to the brim with horse steroids!
This article was originally published August 2013