Weak teenagers spend much of their days in school daydreaming. Sometimes, however, one may find himself daydreaming the same scenarios over and over, and grown a little tired of it. Well, here are some new daydreams to get you through the rest of high school, college, and, let’s face it, life.
In the middle of class, the teacher shuts the door and pulls out a gun. He waves it around, finally pointing it at you. With a face full of crazy he only has one demand: “You need to have sex with Lisa Lampanado, or else everyone dies.” You look over at Lisa. So hot, so scared. She makes eye contact with you, fear in her eyes. She nods. He says you can go do it in the big closet, over there. The two of you go in the closet. You whisper, “I’m sorry. This sucks.” She says, “It’s okay. I know you had nothing to do with this. Besides, I’m glad it was you.” She takes her shirt off, kisses you, and whispers, “Let’s save our class.”
A school shooter bursts in the room. You stand and say, “Don’t shoot!” You walk up to the killer and talk him down. He hands you the gun. You take it from him. The killer thanks you. Later, after the news interviews, Lisa Lampanado takes you behind a tree. She tells you that was the bravest thing she’s ever seen. She takes her shirt off.
They are filming a movie at your school. They need to film a scene where a bunch of students are making out at a party. You get cast along with Lisa Lampanado. She wants to be an actress one day so she really goes for it. The main actor in the scene is drunk or something and doesn’t remember his lines, so you have to make out through 75 takes. By the end of it you guys are having a great time. It feels real and new each take, and it’s never boring. If anything you two are improving each session, learning what each other like or don’t like, surprising one another, and just finding a great groove. By the end of it, Lisa takes her shirt off. The director says, “Hey, you don’t have to do that.” She says, “It’s okay. I want to.” Then he films the take. At the end of it the director says, “Cut. Print. That’s a wrap. And you two are the new stars of the film.” He shoots the rest of the movie with you and Lisa. Both of you win an Oscar for Best Onscreen Couple. During the acceptance speech, Lisa thanks you for being so incredible and sexy. At Elton John’s After-Oscar Party, Lisa takes you to a room filled with pillows. She sits you down. You hear Elton John singing, “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” in another room. Lisa let’s her dress fall to the floor. Then she takes her shirt off. You guys go to town on each other.
Your teacher tells you to stay after class. She goes to open her drawer to show you a poor test paper. When she opens it she finds a bomb. She’s frozen in fear. You tell her to calm down, you’ll go get help. She says, “No. Don’t leave me.” You put your hand on her shoulder and say no problem, you’re just going to take a look. You come around and look at the bomb. The way she’s holding the drawer, you get a pretty good peak at the cleavage going on in there. You examine the bomb. There are two wires. Red and black. The clock reads 30 seconds. You grab the scissors off her desk. You observe the wires. The black one’s the way to go. You put the wire in between the blades. But then, suddenly, Lisa Lampanado comes in, holding her books up to her chest. She sees the bomb and drops all the books. “Don’t move,” you say. You clip the wire. The bomb turns off. Everyone is so relieved. Your teacher puts her hand on yours. Lisa touches your other arm. The teacher goes over to the door and locks it shut. She and Lisa take their shirts off and it’s on.
Lisa Lampanado’s not looking at you. She’s looking at Kyle Moore, the quarterback. But then an older woman walks into class. She’s beautiful, like she surfs and uses a lot of lotion. She’s thinking about enrolling her daughter in the school. She needs a tour, but everyone’s busy. The teacher looks around until his eyes land on you. He tells you to show her around. You do. As you show her the auditorium, she asks to see the dressing rooms, because her daughter may want to act one day. You turn the light on and she shuts the door behind the two of you. She sees a bunch of costumes hanging up. One of them is a cheerleader outfit. The woman says she hasn’t worn one of those in years, and she wants to see if she can still pull one off. She takes her shirt off and gets into the cheerleader outfit. You say it still works. She smiles, says that’s sweet, and kisses you. Then she takes her cheerleading shirt off. Then, later, when you get back to class, Lisa’s all over you, but you don’t care anymore, because you’ve seen what a mature woman is all about, and it’s good. Really good.