Dear Lucas,
My girlfriend is really stressed at work, and it’s carrying over to our relationship. I want to be supportive, but it’s getting harder and harder to sympathize when she’s taking her anxiety out on me. Any tips?
Worn Down in Wayland
Dear Worn,
I can relate. When my girlfriend is mean to me, it’s very hard. And I didn’t even do anything! She’s always saying mean things to me like “Please give me back my underwear” and “Gross! I’m your cousin.” I’m starting to think she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend, which would be hard because my family is living at her house while my dad “cools off.” Your home needs to be happy!
Lucas
Dear Lucas,
I’ve been in many relationships, but I always get tired of the guy after three months. Every single time. Do I have bad luck, or is something wrong with me?
Struggling in San Fran
Dear Struggling,
Haha there’s something wrong with everyone! Whenever I find my dad sleeping in the car in the garage with the engine running, he gets really angry and screams “What is wrong with you?” He asks me that all the time, and he’s the best so I assume everyone has something wrong with them, too!
Lucas
Dear Lucas,
I recently tested positive for HPV, and I’m not sure if I got it from my current boyfriend. I’ve had some sketchy lovers in the past, so I’m not sure how to approach the situation. How do I tell him?
Worried in Washington
Dear Worried,
You should totally tell him! I eat lunch with the school nurse every day. Other kids are always interrupting our conversation and telling her they’re sick, and then they get to go home! So you should tell everyone you meet that you have HPV any time you just want to go home!
Lucas
Dear Lucas,
I don’t think this is the same as some kid faking a stomach ache to get out of gym. Having HPV changes your life forever. No guy will ever want to date me again.
Worried
Dear Worried,
I understand. I have something my mom refers to as the “Uh-Ohs.” My doctor said it’s called IBS, but that’s a computer, so we call it my “Uh-Ohs.” Anytime It acts in up class, I say “Uh-Oh,” and then no girl wants to sit next to me.
Lucas
Dear Lucas,
I get it, you shit your pants. What do I do about my boyfriend?
Worried
Dear Worried,
Tell him! If he stays with you, you should get married! That’s my plan! My dad said that when a girl doesn’t run away after I have an “Uh-Oh,” she’s the one for me. So far the only person to ever stay put was a flight attendant who was legally responsible for watching me when my mom sent me to grandma’s in Arizona. She was great and always looked at me said “Jesus, not again” while she made a scrunched-up face. And “Wait here while I get some towels.” I can’t wait to marry her.
Lucas
Notches on Lucas’s Belt
Anne, 8
Romantic ties: EX
“Lucas and I went on a date once because
I thought he was a special needs kid and I didn’t want to be rude.”
Laura, 10
Romantic ties: Rejected by lucas
“What boy are you talking about? I don’t know anyone named Lucas.”
Sasha, 28
Romantic ties: fling
“I gave Lucas a haircut and he kept pressing his elbows into my breasts. When I told him to stop, he started to cry so I just ignored it and cut his hair fast.”
This article was originally published February 2013