HELLO. Since 2036, people have become scarce. Former rulers of the earth, The People once resided in the foolishly organized cities and towns, and wasted enormous amounts of earth’s natural construction space on trees and plants and water. You might think that since cities and plants and water are gone, people would be, too! They’re not. They can be difficult to identify, however. For robots assembled after 2029, it’s sometimes hard to tell what’s a people and what is dog or chair. With this in mind, Robot Government the Second has produced the following guide to what’s a people. Whether you are looking for people to be a friend, or hunting people for sport, or just interested in seeing people before they’re all gone (why aren’t they making more?), this guide is for you.
How can people be identified when no two look alike? Some have one eye, some have two. Some wear clothes; some are small and crush easily. They can have up to ten fingers (though very unlikely, as people are always losing fingers and hair). Perhaps the best way to determine what is a people is by the sound they make; a characteristic noise called a scream.
Robots should be able to tell what’s a people with a basic visual scan. The following quiz will help you learn what’s a people!
You have finished the Robot’s Guide to What’s a People. Now that you know, you will never forget. Enjoy the people while they last! The next time you see one, take a moment to say HELLO. If red comes out of their ears, it means they heard you!
This article was originally published May 2012