Fashion Tips: How to make people lose respect for you if you're a man
- Put on your tank top.
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This TV mini-series followed the plight of African Americans as they struggled to make it in America. Drama, violence, lashings; its power will never be forgotten. What's its name?
Director: It'll be great. We'll get Arnold to play Mr. Freeze. Everybody loves Mr. Freeze.
Studio Head: ...Eh, I don't know.
Director: And the bat suit will have nipples on it.
Studio Head: I'm listening...
[curtain]
I set a Major League record with 6 Grand Slams in one season
(HINT: I played for the Yankees)
This is Derrick. He vomits all over the place and is the worst.
Hold eye contact longer than necessary.
Mention your casual hangout with their spouse and then trail off.
Let them gently brush your hair while you stare off into space and sigh disapprovingly.
Flubbed (verb): To botch or bungle.
Ben Affleck flubbed his lines during the shoot
Snubbed (verb): Ignored or spur-ned disdainfully.
Ben Affleck was snubbed for his work by the Oscars
Nubbed (verb): To have a person with a missing hand lightly massage your back with their stump.
After a long day of being famous, Ben Affleck likes to have his one-handed assistant nub him as he reads the next day’s script. Ben Affleck’s staff is filled with nubbers and often requests dozens as part of his contract with film studios.
In ancient Rome, when the Coliseum did not have prisoners to throw to the lions, men were chosen based on the width of their buttholes. As everyone knows, a wide butthole displeases the Gods.